EFFECTIVE CHRISTIAN PARENTING : Workshop On-Line

Part I:

References
-Bible - Scripture readings for reflection

Objectives:

1. To describe and understand our present culture where our children develop their attitudes and behaviors, expectations , dreams and aspirations.

2. To know and understand the different parenting approaches and identify the Christian way of parenting.

3. To enable parents to effectively discipline their children in a Christian way in a western environment ; also to help our children appreciate and respect the christian culture.

4. To provide support to parents regarding Christian parenting.

5. To enhance and strengthen our relationship with our children.

Program duration : At your own pace.


PART 1.

Any expectations in this workshop?

1. Introduction: Why are we giving this workshop?
- Man's wisdom is not enough...we always need God's.

Read the Scriptural Teachings for Parents and Children :

For Parents: (Refers to the Father)
a. Ephesians 6: 4
b. Colossians 3:21
c. Proverbs 29:17

For Children:
a. Ephesians 6:1-3
b. Colossians 3:20


Readings:
Ephesians 6: 1 -4 (NRSV- Oxford))

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” - this is the first commandment with a promise: so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3: 20 - 21(NRSV - Oxford))

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is your acceptable duty in the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they may lose heart.

Proverbs 29:17 (NRSV - Oxford)

Discipline your children, and they will give you rest; they will give delight to your heart.

In the light of God’s Words, you are taught the responsibility of a child and a parent. We are given these instructions as basis of our faith in raising our children and our children respecting and loving their parents.

Now our questions are “Why is it that the children nowadays, seem to lack love, respect, courtesy , honor and holy fear of the Lord? What happened to the good moral values we have learned from our fore parents? It seems that it has diminished in our present generation. Why is that?

Today’s society is different from what it was in the past generation.

We need to be flexible and cope up with the changing world that our children are facing today.

Children today are facing too many pressures. They live in a fast, competitive, modern, tehcnology-driven,secular and demanding world. If we don’t know and understand where they are, we will build walls instead of bridges towards our children.

Think of and describe your present culture; get specific descriptions and write write it.

Let us now look at the studies made during the past 40 years concerning the different stages of discipline that had gone through several dramatic transformations (Secrets of Discipline pg. 4-6). This will help us understand why we have this kind of culture today.

a. 1960’s the goal of discipline was to instill in each child a form of respect for authority that would result in the child following adult directions without question.
? Children were to “ be seen and not heard”
? Any form of disagreement with adult direction was labeled “talking back”
Implications: Children became overly submissive and lacked independence. As, teenagers, they felt obligated to rebel against adult domination and the abuse of power.

b. In 1970’s, because of the implications of 1960’s, parents were given the advice to unconditionally give and give to their children, demanding little in the chores and responsibilities.
Parents weren’t to use the word “No” because it could lower a child’s self-esteem.
Rudeness, anger and defiance were viewed as healthy outlets for hostility and accepted as a natural part of growing up.
Implications: Children turned into spoiled brats who thought that the world should revolve around their personal rights and needs.

c. In the same year, adopted the principles of “Behavior Modification.” [Adults told children what to do and rewarded them for complying with the instructions.]
Reinforced desirable behaviors with praise and rewards.
Reduce or elimination of undesirable behaviors through negative consequences e.g. Scolding or Removal of privileges
Consistency was considered a key factor in determining the success or the failure of the parent’s effort
Implications: Parents are conditioning their children as like a dog. Behavior modification was cold and impersonal.

d. In the 80’s and 90’s, Freedom of Choice became the major social issue.
Personal rights and freedoms were constantly demanded.
Extra freedom would prepare children for life in the modern, rapidly-changing world
Children would be responsible by experiencing the consequences of their choices
Gave birth to the new system called “Behavior Management.” [Children are given the freedom to make their own choices and are rewarded for making good ones.] It is the system parents and teachers use today.
Implications: Children, granted the freedom to make their own choices, are far too vulnerable to choose irresponsible and antisocial behavior.
-Many parents and teachers are now worried about the breakdown in respect of authority. Concerned about increasing disruption in school classrooms and about lack of safety in our schools and communities.
-Today’s discipline fails to teach children the skills they need to become responsible, co-operative and productive.
-Promotes a value system that is opposite to what we want to see in our children

To site some examples of then and now:

1.Then - When our parents called our attention or called our name, we hurriedly go to them and ready to take instructions.
Now - Children do not just come, they respond with “What” and then “Why”. And timidly do what they are asked to do.

2.Then - We cannot leave the house without our parent’s permission and we asked before hand.
Now - Children leave home with or without the parent’s permission. They come in and go as they please.

3. As for the (Filipino) families: Then - Children greeted their parents or any adult with blessing of the hand or “Mano”
Now - Children just say hi and bye because they thought it as silly and it make no sense to them.

With the present situation our children face today, we as parents need to help each other and learn more about how we can be effective parents of this generation.

To be continued.........